Our Biggest Evolutionary Failure

It is believed that the modern humans have existed for around 200,000 years. Within the time of our legacy, we have gone from being small crouched monkeys to fully erect, hairless beings. Because of the ever-changing surroundings we have had no options but to change our bodies to adapt to the nature around us.

While some species has chosen to evolve their fighting abilities to grow a claw or two, we humans have chosen to grow a bigger brain and a longer skinnier body. I do applaud humanity for choosing to grow their intellect, for it has definitely served us well on this planet. However, I do think one of our current features are doing humanity a disservice.

It’s the arms! Why the heck do we have such long and skinny arms? When walking around downtown I often find myself getting frustrated because of my noodle arms. Whenever I walk, I don’t know where to put them and if I have no pockets to stuff them into, I quickly lose my sanity.  I will say this now; this is a massive failure on humanity´s part. Just saying.

This problem does not only occur when walking but also when someone takes a picture of you or when you’re cuddling and sleeping with your partner. I could go on forever for there are tons of more situations where you experience the “awkward hand”. I talked with my buddy about this the other day and he said he had the same problem too. Apparently, this is an ongoing international crisis. Why haven’t big media outlets picked up on this and what can we with those limbs attached to our torso? Sure, they serve a good purpose, but the negative sides easily overshadow the good ones.

Though the “awkward hand” is ultimately unavoidable in our lifetime, there are ways to decrease the chances of it happening in any situations.

Some smart people finds their way to quickly occupy their hands, the moment an event starts. One should quickly grab the nearest object around them, and hold on to it forever. It might be a freaking lampshade you will be holding, or a family heirloom, but at least your hands are occupied. Congratulations, you look normal now.

If there are no loose objects around you, you might want to invest in doing gang signs at all times. There are tons of different clans to join, but becoming a member will give you many more disadvantages than opportunities, so it is not really recommended. Sometimes you just got to accept the awkward hand. It IS avoidable if you carry a small object in your pocket at all times, but then again, you wouldn’t need it, if you have pockets already.

It’s an evil circle that no media outlets have picked up on, but The Ruccola Post proudly presents this case, the ongoing crisis, nevertheless. It’s time to fix this.


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