Recently I discovered something, something that truly put me off. I don’t quite know how to describe it, not without being direct. I found myself feeling that I’m growing out of video games. And that’s a sad thing. For as long as I can remember, video games have been a big part of my life. From my very early childhood up to now in my early adulthood. There’s no secret that childhood gaming is different from adulthood gaming. But when I was a kid, it was a lot easier to immerse myself in a game by myself, while nowadays I almost only enjoy playing a game if it’s a social experience. Getting gripped by a video game is something that hasn’t happened to me in nearly five years. I have played games in the last five years of course, but the spark of excitement, joy and pure fun just isn’t there as much. Hence why I feel like I’m growing out of video games, and I absolutely hate it. But why do I hate it?
As I mentioned, I’ve been a gaming enthusiast for as long as I can remember. In a weird way, the act of playing a game is something I identify with. The combination of W, A, S and D is nearly burned into my fingertips, my left hand has a resting position as if its resting on a keyboard. Video games was everything I had for a while. It was the hobby of my childhood, the passion during my teenage years and now, in adulthood, it’s merely a social glue. Even then I don’t find myself discussing video game news and shit in general anymore. I can’t really remember the last time I discussed an upcoming game with someone. Nowadays it’s more common for me to think about old games. Well, “old games”, games I grew up with in that case. Remising over this stuff is so nice. Not because they’re as good as you remember, which is why I can’t stand these wannabe critics who asks if some dead old PS1 game still holds up today, because it obviously doesn’t. Nostalgia doesn’t affect you by simply revisiting something from your childhood, but rather revisiting the part and the love you associate with said thing. I don’t love the games I remember because they were inherently good, but because I loved them as a kid. I reflect about being a kid again, and the good in it. That’s nostalgia. And now as a young adult, nostalgia might be everything I’ll have left soon of video games as a hobby. I think I understand what retro means now.