Enjoy Things By Not Enjoying Things

 

Escapism is something we’re all familiar with, I don’t doubt that. The joy that comes with being able to ignore the worries that impatiently wait for us in the day after tomorrow, it’s a very little thing. A very little thing you don’t really notice, and appreciate to the fullest, until you decide to not give a shit for a little moment.

You just need to get away from the tide of stress and bad habits you’re slowly sinking in – drowning in. However, just like in a pit of quicksand, you don’t get the solution that will save your life handed to you. You simply need to move as little as possible. It might be a ridiculous analogy, but it really isn’t – not to me at least. When I’m sitting there stressed with an assignment the last night before it’s due, I find that I work efficiently right after I’ve just stopped everything around me and done something else. It’s common sense, you might be thinking. Yeah. It is common sense. That’s why we have lunchbreaks.

It’s just that it’s such a little thing that we take for granted so badly. To the point where I spent many lunchbreaks in high school just waiting and wanting it to end. Only so the clock would tick closer to whatever time we’d get to go home. If there’s something I wish I knew in high school, it’s how much more I appreciate the things I do love right after I’ve done something I don’t necessarily appreciate as much, or at all. Because I didn’t really notice it at the time. How much doing something we hate can make us love something else more.

Recently I found myself enjoying myself playing a video game more than usual. It wasn’t because it was an inherently enthralling experience itself, but because I felt I had earned it after a 40 hour long sleepless leap to a deadline for a boring exam. How much that exam drained me made me appreciate, and enjoy myself with the game more so than I had in a very long while. And in a weird reverse way, the enjoyment that came with that session being magnetized to my computer screen, I really appreciated the exhausting exam in a weird way.

Escapism is a way of treating yourself, but the real importance of escapism comes when you really feel that you need to, well, escape a little. It’s in the word itself, and never have I loved a word with such a literal name more than I do nowadays. We take it for granted until we’ve needed it so badly that it doesn’t feel like something we take for granted. After all it wasn’t completely over. The fear of the exam’s results was lurking over me like a hungry wolf, but just like a stubborn dog, it doesn’t really sit still until you’ve stood your ground and ignored it until it finally actually shuts the fuck up.

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